


As good as it ever was

by Poison01



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drinking, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26158030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison01/pseuds/Poison01
Summary: For years Gerard and Frank have been fucking behind everyones back. They're going down an endless spiral of hurt, betrayal and self-loathing. Will the band be okay? But where there is hurt there is always hope.It was only as good as it ever was.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 3





	As good as it ever was

The end is near. We can all feel it. The five of us. It is draining us, suffocating us.

The year is 2011. The year everything will collapse. I know it will. Deep down this spiral of self-loathing and horrible chaos. 

But maybe I live for the chaos. For the taste of a shattered heart and tear dried lips. You know those lips that are all sore because of too many salty tears? I think I like those lips. Or maybe I just convince myself I do because I´ve hurt this person too many times already.

I should hate those lips. Those tear dried lips with a lip ring. And I should stop myself. But I don´t think I can. 

For too long this rollercoaster of emotions have been suffocating me. For so long I don`t even know how to act normal again. It is just way easier to look away and pretend that what I am doing is okay. 

Because no one knows what goes on behind a closed door, right?

\---------------------------------

November 1st, 2011.

“This town is fucking suffocating me,” I exclaim, lying on my back on the oversized hotel-bed, staring at the ceiling. Suppressing the urge to run. To scream. London feels too crowded, too big, yet too small. 

“Come on it`s not so bad,” Frank says, “you`re just being grumpy.”

I throw a pillow at him, but he dodges it. Barely. 

“Maybe you wouldn´t feel this down all the time if you just let yourself some slack y´know?”

“I don´t know what you mean,” I say, looking at the tattooed man before me. He´s removed his t-shirt already. His chest is fucking beautiful covered in all that ink I could never get myself. I would never even dare have a needle pierce through my skin. 

“I mean that maybe if we wouldn´t have to lie to everyone about us, you wouldn´t be this tense. I don´t know. If you would just let us…. I don´t know,” he stares at me, like he´s waiting for me to finish his sentence.

“You´re wrong,” I say bluntly, getting up, and catching his gaze. He looks annoyed. 

“Whatever,” he turns around. 

“Look who´s all grumpy now,” I smile, and embrace him from behind. 

He reeks of sweat from being on the stage a couple hours ago, and I imagine I do the same. But his skin is the most delicate against my fingertips and I could never stay away. Not even if he asked me to.

“You know I´ve been wanting you all day. The entire time up that stage all I could think about was getting back here and fuck you,” I bite down on his earlobe. A sigh escapes from his lips. The want. The lust. Throbbing, pulsating. 

“The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing I can fuck you,” I continue, knowing far too well what all these years of sneaking around has taught me: Nothing ever comes for free. I will eventually burn. 

I slide my hand down his pants and finally feel his warm cock between my grip. He grabs me by the hair, and I know he´s lost in the moment. I know he likes to run his fingers through my messy, shock-red hair. I know he devour every part of my body like eye candy. I know he likes how I fuck him like there´s no tomorrow. 

His pants fall down to his ankles. I start pumping him, softly, yet eagerly. But I know he wants more. He likes the fucking to be intense just like I do, so that we can forget our egos for just a little while. We both like to lose ourselves in the intensity of it and stay there for as long as we can. Sometimes we can fuck for hours, and sometimes we do it so quick we forget it even happened. 

“The fuck is you waiting for?” he asks in between breaths, so I grab him by the neck and bend him over. This is definitely going to be a quick one, but a good one.

I open my zipper and push myself inside of him. He cries out because he´s tight. The lack of lube makes it hurt in the beginning. 

I carefully thrust inside of him and I moan. Feeling his muscles tense around my cock, but finally relaxing. 

He moans loudly, and I immediately worry someone might hear us. I´m always on alert. 

“Not so loud,” I say between my thrusts, “Mikey´s in the room right across from us.”

Another moan. “I don´t care,” he says, in between breaths. 

But I care. I don´t want to get caught. But my mind is so blissful at the moment I don´t care; instead I bury the shame at the back of my mind but knowing damn well it will come back as always and haunt me when I´m scared and alone.

“Harder, faster,” he demands, and I obey. 

Suddenly my mobile phone starts ringing. It´s lying right there on the nightstand next to me, calling out for me to pick it up. Loudly, rudely. Looking down I see the picture of my wife on the screen, abruptly blinking at me. Her red lips, her brown eyes looking at me with lust and kindness. Begging for me to stop and to pick up the phone because she is calling this very moment. Her whole face filled with this heart to heart trust in me, like I would never do anything that could hurt her. What could she possibly want at this hour? Just talk? Or did she finally find out about me and Frank, and called to confront me with the information? 

I need to throw up but instead I thrust harder, faster, better. 

And as the ringing of the phone dies out Frank orgasms, and I have already forgot the face of my wife. 

I then come hard and feel like collapsing into his arms.

I pull out of him, and he turns around to face me but is quiet for a rather long moment while he studies my face. “Guilt is eating you up. You´re thin,” he says, catching me completely off guard. 

His eyes are intense, like they see right through my soul, and I wonder: Can he see the black hole in it? 

“I can´t help it,” I say, and close the zipper of my jeans. I pick up my phone and look at the screen to see the one missed call. 

“Just call her tomorrow and tell her you were asleep. It´s late anyways,” Frank says bluntly, and starts getting dressed.

“Is that what you do?” I ask, throwing the phone down on the bed. A loud thud as it hits the mattress and then the floor.

“It doesn´t matter,” he says, covering himself in his black hoodie. I realize his eyes are no longer intense and alive but sad. As sad as they could ever be.

“It was a good fuck, though.” I say, trying to catch his gaze. To see if I can still find any kind of spark in there. 

“It always is,” he says, before disappearing out the door. “See you tomorrow. You should get some sleep.” 

The door leaves a loud thud as it closes.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was the first chapter, and I hope you are intrigued to read more. Let me know if you enjoyed it and want me to post another chapter.


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